All things must pass, and my stone was no exception. It left fairly painlessly, we headed back home to Los Angeles, and for a few years my kidneys dutifully sorted waste products from my blood without incident.
Then, in 2006…
Denny Crane was bent over Candice Bergen’s desk, in a swirling maelstrom of physical agony.
(NOTE: This is not a passage from some sort of depraved Boston Legal fan fiction one would find on the Internet. Characters I’ve played, for some reason or another, always wind up in the most licentious fantasies of fan fiction authors. For years now, Kirk and Spock have heated up the pages of the fan fiction subgenre as slash fiction, which deals primarily in gay relationships. Neither of us is homosexual, but if I were to dabble, I would surely avoid any encounter with a creature famed for its Vulcan death grip.)
(ADDITIONAL NOTE: I have also been informed that there is more than one webpage out there dedicated to Denny Crane/Alan Shore slash fiction. It must have been all the cigar smoking we did. Either way, the fair-haired dazzlement that is James Spader is a bit more appealing than Spock. Sorry, Leonard.)
(FINAL NOTE: And it has come to my attention that some enterprising web scribes have also published T.J. Hooker slash fiction. I guess I had a way with a nightstick.)
(ADDENDUM TO FINAL NOTE: Please, slash fiction writers, don’t ever write any Twilight Zone “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stores. (I’d hate to picture myself making love to a gremlin.)
William Shatner in Shatner Rules: Your Guide to Understanding the Shatnerverse and the World at Large (via uss-awesome)
Oh, my God, I had to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud at work when I read this…
Ranting about WIPs. But probably not the rant you’d expect.
I’m just going to preface this rant with a simple summation of the salient point:
If you are frustrated with an author’s apparent lack of progress on a WIP (work in progress), the last thing you want to do is give them grief about it or ask when it’ll be updated/done. Chances are, they don’t know either and are usually just as frustrated as you are! And all that does is make it more difficult for the author.
The rest of this is just me rambling about WIPs and why I understand why they irritate people but also why they’re necessary for some authors. (I intend to finish mine. This is not about mine. If I get stuck or Real Life puts me in the hospital again, I will at least summarize how it was supposed to end. AT LEAST. Or resort to the Scooby-Doo ending.)
This is what happens when I am the only person left in my office. It is long. If you don’t feel like reading a long rambling rant/essay thing about works in progress that is mostly here to work out my own issues on the subject, feel free to skip it.
When Pigs Fly: I hate cutting stuff out.
So I’m still working on the field trip part of When Pigs Fly and I’ve concluded that I’m actually going to have to cut it down somewhat. Seriously, the unedited draft of the field trip alone has hit 4000 words and Fury still hasn’t shown up to yell at them yet. I’m not letting myself update the capkink post or the AO3 draft until I finish the field trip, so this is understandably a bit irritating.
I really hate cutting parts out. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Because it feels like I just wasted all that time writing the parts that I’m tossing anyway. But if the only point of one scene is to include one tidbit of info and to work in a joke about a nickname… yeah.
Anyway. I’m just going to post the first scene of the field trip here, since I’m probably going to trash it and move the necessary dialogue elsewhere. It’ll make me feel better about having to cut most of it.
(Also, my work network makes no sense. Livejournal is blocked, but Tumblr is A-OK? What?)